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The Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) may be relatively new as a namesake, but it's certainly not new as many people's reality. Some of us are just wired differently than others, be it from nature or nurture (although in this case, science argues for both).

With our sensitive wiring in mind, those of us who become parents need to learn parenting strategies that are not only effective, but also keep us from feeling overwhelmed by our children--the very people whose care has been entrusted to us.

Personally, I know the HSP life well. I'm the daughter of a highly sensitive person. I, myself, am an HSP. And now, I have little one of my own. I write this based on years of research as well as from my own experience. In other words, I "get it."

My hope is that my research will help the HSP parent find greater peace in their parenting strategies.

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An HSP Parent Feels Things Differently

In short, MRIs show that the HSP has a nervous system that works differently than that of the other 75 to 80 percent of the population. However, HSP traits don't necessarily manifest the same across the remaining 15 to 20 percent of the population that we comprise.

What science does demonstrate across the board for the HSP, however, is that our MRIs show distinctly different areas of brain activity versus non-HSPs in response to the same stimuli. Specifically, the MRIs show "stronger activation of brain regions involved in awareness, empathy, and self-other processing" (source).

As a result, HSPs can experience the same events entirely differently from non-HSPs. And empathic HSPs take their innate sensitivity a notch farther.

That said, there are a couple of concepts worth noting before addressing parenting strategies: "Highly sensitive people are typically introverts, while empaths can be introverts or extroverts (although most are introverts). Empaths share a highly sensitive person's love of nature and quiet environments, their desire to help others, and their rich inner life." (source)

We can use what we know to our advantage.

Parenting Strategies for the HSP Parent

While mainstream parenting is, well, mainstream, we simply aren't. Therefore, we can't expect that standard parenting strategies would work well for us. If we try to fit into a certain "box" that doesn't reflect our sensitive nature, parenting might feel harder than it has to be.

Some of these ideas can lighten your load.

1. Be gentle with your children -- and with yourself.

Many of us have what feels like a whole lot of extra neurons dedicated to empathy. And HSPs, following a standard rote of discipline that leaves us feeling disconnected from our children simply isn't a good fit.

Parent gently. This includes "parenting" yourself, too. Be kind to yourself and keep your inner (and outer) voice in check.

reading people
This book has a wonderful and comprehensive chapter about the HSP personality type. (Afflinks. As an Amazon associate, we earn from qualifying purchases. Your purchases help us support important charities.)

If HSP parents treat our children harshly, many of us will internalize the punishment and feel it ourselves on some level. If our parents were harsh with us or ignored our big feelings and we have emotional memories of that, we'll feel those feelings all over again as we administer them in our own homes. That doesn't feel good.

Of course, children do need loving limits. With practice, we can hold those loving limits compassionately with our children while also healing your own inner child.

If you're new to gentle parenting or want to learn about it in ways that support the information in the books, many positive parenting groups exist to support you. Support from likeminded parents can help you navigate to a gentler way of being.

Release the pressure to discipline the way our parents did, or our peers did, or the way some outdated parenting book said we should.

Trust your sensitivity to be your ally and your guide.

2. Bank the time that you can't "take care of yourself first"--and find creative ways to weave self-care into your routines.

We all know we can't pour from an empty cup. We'd like to be able to take care of ourselves first. However, some HSPs find it challenging to find parenting strategies that balance self-care and our tendency to put others first.

For me, taking care of myself first just wasn't always my reality. When my child was very little, I couldn't just let her cry and "figure it out," no matter how exhausted I was. Despite the well-meaning (albeit unsolicited) advice from others, I let my heart lead my parenting.

I'd felt better if I'd parented lovingly and while being emotionally present for my child day and night.

Does that mean that I just abandoned my needs, though? Absolutely not. Something that worked really well for my family included reducing screen time and replacing it with story time. We also instituted screen-free days with unexpectedly positive results. That wouldn't work for everyone, of course, but I knew I needed my quiet time to recharge.

So, I created the best of both worlds: quiet and clutter-free areas around the house where I could go to read with (or near) her while still staying emotionally present.

I also made mornings our standard time to get out of the house. That way, I knew I could come home and everything would be quieter from that point forward in our day. Afternoons became a predictably sacred space for us.

"Home days" earned just as much priority as other appointments. I consciously worked to find the patience for positive parenting, knowing that practice would make our inner lives more peaceful. If I couldn't "go" to self-care, I brought peace to meet me where I was.

3. Ground yourself in who you were before kids.

Many HSPs grew up keenly aware of their sensitivities to sounds, bright lights, and overly gregarious people. Whatever external stimuli triggered you before having kids, they're likely still there, along with the responsibility to raise children despite them. And in many cases, kids are all the noise, lights, and excitement wrapped up into little human-sized packages of energy. That's standard child behavior.

That said, this is in no way a knock on children. They're perfectly good at being exactly who they were designed to be, lights and all. Life moves on, as they say, but becoming a parent doesn't mean you're not yourself anymore. Suddenly, you're responsible for raising a human who might challenge all of your HSP-ness.

Remember how you grounded yourself before you had children. What's something you haven't done in so long that you've nearly forgotten about it, but that helped you find peace?

Consider journaling as a way to reconnect with yourself. It's proven to be a solid and reliable way to express

HSP journal
Journaling can be helpful.

our own big feelings and working through them peacefully (source).

4. Connect outside the home--and inside it, too.

If you have an understanding partner, share your heart with them. A friend or a counselor can be a wonderful resource for an HSP, as well.

If you don't have a good circle of friends, create your community -- start somewhere. If you lack childcare or the desire to leave the house, connecting virtually can still lift you up. A video or phone chat with a faraway friend does wonders for refueling the emotional tank.

Within certain parameters, even social media can offer some benefits specifically for introverts, including the HSP. Connecting with other adults is easy to overlook because many don't consider it a "parenting strategy." However, connection is critical to our emotional wellbeing.

Connection, in turn, contributes to the emotional fuel we have on reserve for the challenging parenting days---and for all of the regular days, too. If social media starts to creep in too intrusively and negatively affect your relationships, however, know that there are many things you can do to keep your screen time in check.

Finally, not all connection needs to be with people. Connect spiritually. Connect with nature, too -- science shows how beneficial it can be for grounding ourselves (source).

The HSP Parent Can Be a Highly Attuned and Compassionate Caregiver

Rather than trying to fit into a mainstream mould that wasn't built for us in the first place, we get to create our own parenting strategies that honor who we are. We can create an approach that leaves us feeling encouraged and connected, even despite all the ways that parenting stretches us and pushes our boundaries.

With the natural bigheartedness of HSPs, our children will fare better when we embrace that which comes naturally to us. There's always room for more compassion in the world.

Further Resources for HSP Parents

There are a few really detailed and exceptionally good books to study, such as The Highly Sensitive Person by Elaine Aron, PhD, and Reading People by Anne Bogel (the latter is only a chapter, but it's entirely relevant). I HSP bookrecommend them to HSPs who want to understand themselves better. They're also beneficial to non-HSPs who want to understand us better.

You can watch a movie about highly sensitive people. You can even take a online quizzes to gauge whether you're a likely an HSP. If you've read this far, though, you probably already know the answer.

I didn't need a quiz or an HSP "label" to understand my own wiring, but it didn't hurt to know what to call it so that I could research beneficial parenting strategies more effectively.

With or without a quiz, if you understand yourself to be an HSP and want parenting strategies that support you, check back here for more resources soon -- including an online session dedicated to parenting a highly sensitive child.

I haven't met Dr. Vanessa Lapointe in person (yet), but I can say without hesitation that I'd trust her to watch my child. If you know anything about me, you'll know that I pretty much don't let anyone watch my child. And she's technically a stranger...so this isn't a lighthearted endorsement. Her first book that I read, Discipline without Damage, had me at "hello"---it simply resonated with me on every level. (afflinks) Now that she's added Parenting Right from the Start to our parenting tool kits, we all need to put it on our must-read list for parenting books.

Parenting Right from the Start is one of the closest things I've found to the manual we all wish accompanied our babies when they're born.

It's a game changer for parents who want to do better for their children. Aside from covering a lot of Parenting Right from the Start Dr. Vanessa Lapointe"basics" (among others, sleep, eating, toilet training, and positive discipline), here's what I like about it:

Parenting Right from the Start
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Dr. Lapointe understands different temperaments and how to parent different children differently.

If the book weren't helpful enough already, Dr. Lapointe includes a section about "dandelion children" vs. "orchid children." Anyone with a highly sensitive child might know these terms; they refer to two distinctly different temperaments and their abilities to thrive in different circumstances. This knowledge is near and dear to my heart as a parent raising an orchid (a highly sensitive child). Regardless whether this analogy speaks to you, Dr. Lapointe's expertise about individual differences among children---and the most effective ways to parent them---is unquestionably beneficial.

Personally, one of the things I most appreciate about Parenting Right from the Start is that Dr. Lapointe makes it okay to parent differently from those around us.

She helps us examine our own "wiring" as parents. She helps us understand the beliefs with which we enter into parenthood and might not even realize we have. It's beyond beneficial; it's a therapeutic mindset from which we all can benefit.

One of my own struggles when I was a new mom was feeling isolated in my parenting style. Most of the other moms I knew were raising their kids in a way that just didn't work for my heart. I longed for other like-minded adults to connect with in my parenting journey, often wondering if I was just way off base. Fortunately, I did find my proverbial tribe (and some other great parenting books along the way), but how much nicer it would've been to have Dr. Lapointe's professional expertise in my back pocket from the start! I'd have felt more sure of the approach that I follow with my whole heart and with full confidence, now.

Life presents us with plenty of opportunities to make the world a better place. Parenting Right from the Start helps us do that.

If I were to sum up the book in a sentence, I'd say it's a book about how to foster a lifelong and positive connection with your child. When it comes right down to it, that's what's most important. And that's exactly what this book helps us do in big and little ways.

From a place of connection, our kids feel safe to be who they are; to embrace the goodness that we've imparted to them; and to carry it out into the world beyond our homes. After all, that's a wonderful measure of success as parents, isn't it?

When my daughter was three years old, I didn't think anything about fostering childhood resilience when it came to Halloween. For some reason that's unbeknownst to me, she decided that what people do with Halloween candy is...donate it. Who was I to argue with her thoughtful idea? So, for the past two years, we've gathered up her loot and handed it off to a grateful recipient.

I somehow assumed that this is what she'd want to do with it forever. Yeah, just call me naive and we'll get on with things, shall we? In any case, we started Halloween today with our standard plan to donate her candy. She was completely on board.

So, off we went to our downtown "Safe Halloween" where local businesses open their doors to the kids and their parents for a couple of hours, doling out all the good stuff. Now, what makes the "good stuff" tricky for us is that my kiddo has food allergies, so donating her candy has always eliminated any risk to her safety. The Teal Pumpkin Project helps somewhat, but not everyone knows about it or chooses to participate.

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When we were done trick-or-treating, however, she crawled into the backseat of my car, opened her big paper bag, and took a quick whiff of the contents of the sugar-filled booty. I glanced back at her after another minute, and although her hands were still on the outside, her head had disappeared almost entirely into the bag. It smelled good. That's when I started to realize that this year might be

childhood resilience
Wonderful book for kids to learn about food allergies

different. She might not want to donate the good smells.

When we got home, she inquired while holding up one of her goodies, "Mommy, can you please read the ingredients to this one?" Suddenly, I realized we were on a very slippery slope. What had been an easy fix to a problem wasn't going to work this year. Since reading The Bugabees (which I love for kids with food allergies), she's learned to ask what's in the food to which she's exposed. (Afflink) That's wonderful.

For better or worse, however, most commercial candies simply aren't options for her health-wise. To compensate for that, we have alternate "safe" treats at our house, usually healthy options. She'd broken off a square of dark chocolate during lunch at home just a few hours earlier as a special treat.

With all that in mind, I read the ingredients. She quickly self-identified that the candy she chose wouldn't work for her. And then she mourned.

I mourned, too, because I want her to experience holidays like so many other kids do. I don't want Halloween to be about resilience.

allergy free candy
A great option for allergy-friendly Halloween candy

Empathizing, I told her, "I saw how much you really wanted that candy. The feelings I'm guessing you have right now are disappointment and sadness. You can tell me if I'm wrong." It helps kids to give names to feelings to help build emotional intelligence. Dr. John Gottman writes about this, along with a lot of other really insightful suggestions, in this book. It's best when children can name the emotions themselves, but that doesn't always work when they're emotionally flooded. She agreed that I'd guessed correctly.

After holding her and telling her I understood (truly, I do), I realized that this would be another teachable moment. I had to wait, of course, until her brain could find logic and reason, as this important book by Drs. Seigel and Bryson so clearly illustrates. One of the lessons I've learned, though, is that she learns best

growth mindset
This book helps parents understand child development and how to best connect "in the moment."

when I give her the space to solve problems for herself--while I fully support her emotionally along the way. This is a life skill she needs.

Knowing the rest of her loot would be similar, I offered, "I wonder what we could do to make the rest of the candy less tempting. Let's think about this." And then I waited, just a bit longer than where I felt comfortable. It's usually in that uncomfortable moment when she suggests something.

"I have an idea, Mommy."

"What is it?"

"Let's make it a science experiment. You grab a bowl and put some hot water in it; I'll put the candy in it and see what happens."

We proceeded to make a warm, gooey, good-smelling experiment while sitting in the middle of our kitchen floor. I hadn't thought of the idea. She had. And when she did, she bought in completely. We marveled at which ones floated or sank, and which ones bubbled (I'm never eating that kind again). She solved the problem in a way that will undoubtedly stay with her much longer than anything I'd have suggested, would have. And I believe she learned something about her own resilience.

Although I don't know if this candy-plan will work again next year, what I do know is this: she's capable of figuring it out. She's strong. I love that she has opportunities to see this.

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Additional Allergy-Friendly Halloween Options

Click the images for details!

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Halloween stickers
teal pumpkin
Many colors available -- including teal!
childhood resilience
Who doesn't love glowing jewelry?
childhood resilience
Fun coloring books to give away instead of candy
childhood resilience
Fun pencils
building resilience
Show you're a safe home

Many kids have an inherent panic response when Mom or Dad starts counting, "1...2...3..."---the three most fearsome numbers of childhood. Although the consequences differ from household to household, counting is often code for imminent trouble. Peaceful, positive parenting can change that. Rather than counting to three as a threat (suggesting punishment that's rarely effective anyway), counting can be a useful parenting tool for you. Here's how.

When you're upset with your child, silently count to three, just for yourself, while thinking about a special moment in your child's past (or future).

For those brief seconds, recall a tender moment when your little one was a baby. Remember the feeling of those tiny fingers wrapped around yours. Alternatively, imagine your "baby" being older and moving out of your home. Picturing either extreme will automatically ground you and help you remember how fleeting this moment is. Part of positive parenting can include using mindfulness techniques like this one.

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If your child is asking to do something you'd rather not do, see if you can say "yes" and grant their request for three seconds (or three minutes, or whatever you can manage).

Does that mean you agree to every request or throw your boundaries out the window? Of course not. However, you can reevaluate whether you can say yes more often (you'll find some practical ideas of how to do that here).

Walking past a playground recently on our way somewhere else, my daughter wanted to stop and swing on the swings. We really didn't have time. I could tell by looking at her, though, that it was important to her. So, I said, "Yes, you may swing for three seconds before we keep walking. I'll start counting as soon as you get on the swing, and when I get to three, it'll be time to go." She agreed.

1-2-3 magic counting to three

She shed no tears; she didn't negotiate for more time (aside from my agreeing that it was reasonable for her swing to slow down before she hopped off). Part of her lack of desire to negotiate in situations like this is that she's learned she'll often get a "yes"---even if just a brief one.

These little "yeses" can go so far in supporting connection with your child. Some might argue that their child wouldn't get off the swing so easily, but I wonder if they'd consider the time they'd lose in managing their child's disappointment, and the missed opportunity to connect.

It's easy to say yes more often once you practice, and once you build trust with your child that it's what your answer will often be. The "forbidden fruit" they're seeking will feel less forbidden, and therefore be less of a draw, if they feel you're on their side.

This approach also makes your parenting approach easier for your kids because they learn when "no" really needs to happen. They trust it's not arbitrary.

If a transition from one activity to another is hard (as it often is for kids) and you're triggered because you need to move onto the next task, use your "three" to give them a few moments to adjust to whatever needs to happen next.

In our house when my child was younger, this "counting to three" took the form of "Would you like to go put on your shoes now, or would you like me to hold you while I count to three so you'll have some time to prepare?" It worked amazingly well. It's as if my child really needed that count of three to ready herself for whatever was coming next, even if the task was as mundane (in adult eyes) as brushing teeth or walking to the car.

Three seconds to adjust is often just enough time to connect and make the transition easier for both of you.

"Three" can be a place of peace.

It can be a "yes space" for both of you, child and parent, where you ground yourselves for a better interaction and greater connection. And it can be as easy as 1, 2...well, you know.

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Further reading

parenting bookspositive parenting booksparenting bookscounting to three dandelion seeds positive parentingcounting to three positive parenting bookscounting to three dandelion seeds positive parenting

Go here to find more of our favorite positive parenting books. As an Amazon Associate, we earn from qualifying purchases. Your purchases help us support important charities.

Teaching children how to protect the Earth often isn't at the forefront of our minds. We recycle, of course, and we're generally good citizens. In all practicality, however, we're often busy...making lunch. Managing our children's bedtimes. Living life.

I don't write that judgmentally. I'm guilty of it, too.

As part of conscious parenting, however, it's imperative that we do teach kids why we need to protect the Earth. Conscious parenting and salvaging what we can of the planet aren't mutually exclusive. We have a moral obligation to not only teach children how to be kind to other humans, but also to show them how to nurture the global home they share.

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All this gentle and respectful parenting we're striving for won't mean a thing if our kids don't have a planet on which they can live safely. 

We shouldn't just teach kids about the implications of deforestation or melting ice caps, of course ---rather, they need to know about all the myriad factors that play into the future of this "pale blue dot" we call home.

However, it feels a bit overwhelming to have that responsibility on our shoulders, doesn't it?

It is overwhelming to protect the Earth, much less teach little kids about it. I'm not minimizing the enormity of the task. Fortunately, as individuals, we're not supposed to carry heavy burdens alone---especially seemingly insurmountable ones like climate change. Positively altering our world is going to take work from every single one of us as a global community. What matters is that we're doing our part. 

As conscious parents, we can weave important messages about sustainable living into our everyday lives.

There's always something we can do to protect the Earth. Here are three ways that work well as we parent our children: Teach Them, Show Them, and Lead Them.

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1. Lead children to protect the Earth by showing them how to be change makers.

In addition to modeling for your kids all the ways you protect the Earth, challenge them to find ways to be change makers themselves. See what they come up with. Here are a few examples:

unnecessary plastic
Kids can write letters to companies who use unnecessary packaging and suggest better alternatives.

Solar panels and electric cars aren't feasible for everyone, and we can't always choose whether our homes are powered by wind turbines. However, until more of those things are commonplace, you can write letters with your children. Make phone calls. Model to your children that communication matters---because their future on this planet matters.

2. Teach children how to protect the Earth by talking about it in your everyday life.

There are so many ways to weave this topic into your daily conversations. Although it's wonderful to have sit-down discussions about how to protect the Earth, it doesn't need to be complicated or heavy-handed, particularly with children who are highly sensitive. Adapt your message to suit your child's ability to process the information thoughtfully and without fear mongering. Starting small is great, particularly for small children. No child is too young to listen. It's all about planting the proverbial seed. It will grow if you let it.

Awareness and understanding go a long way; they're how kids establish their belief systems about what's important.

Here are some simple and effective ways you can teach young children about how to protect the Earth:

What you can say to your child: "I'm turning off the bedroom lights because no one's in there. That's how we save energy. Saving energy helps protect the Earth and everyone who lives on it."

What you can say to your child: "We're walking to the library today so we don't use the fuel that's in our car. Saving fuel helps protect the Earth by reducing fumes and protecting the planet's natural resources."

Talking goes a long way for kids. If they don't hear important messages from you, what would they know to look for (or to avoid) in society as they grow up?

3. Teach children how to protect the Earth by showing them what others are doing to help. Also show them what not to do.

It's important for kids to know that they're not too young to care; not too young to help.

Have you heard of Greta Thunberg, a 17-year-old girl from Sweden? She's a climate activist who's inspired marches for young people around the world. She completed an incredible 15-day, 3,000-mile (4,800km) voyage on a carbon-neutral boat across the Atlantic to bring awareness to climate change. She spoke at the United Nations Climate Summit in September 2019. Here's her very compelling speech to the Assemblée Nationale:

Greta's work is inspiring and wonderful, yet she's not the only one who's doing good work to protect the Earth. Young activists are doing important climate work all over the world. Share their stories with your children.

Watch your children's reactions to others' work to learn which elements of protecting our planet speak to their hearts. Then, foster those things. Do they love marine animals? What about their favorite forest creatures? Do your kids enjoy hiking, playing outside in good weather, or boating with Grandpa? See what other people are doing to make enjoying those things possible for your child. Tie those things into your discussions. They're specific. They're  memorable.

teaching kids about the environment

As with all topics, you'll be more likely to succeed at teaching your message about sustainability if your child feels emotionally compelled to learn. Just like some kids enjoy math for the sake of numbers and others don't care about math until they discover physics, pay attention to what resonates with your child. Show them what others are doing in an area that inspires them. Read books together about ways your children can help protect the Earth (afflinks). Check them out from your local library if you can.

Even with young kids, you can also point it out when you see something that's contrary to how we protect the Earth.

Be it a cigarette butt on the pavement, smoke spewing from a manufacturing facility, or someone acting irresponsibly towards our planet in any way, it's perfectly okay to point it out and say, "Yuck." Explain why it's off-putting.

What you can say to your child: "I don't like it when people leave their trash near the lake. It's dirty and can make the fish and animals here very sick. I want people to do better." Bonus points: pick up the trash and take it to the nearest bin. Pack an eco-friendly hand sanitizer to keep with you if you're concerned about cleanliness.

Show children that the generation before them is doing something to protect them.

Kids need to know that adults outside your home care about sustainability, too---lest they feel as overwhelmed as we do. It's hard to feel like an activist in isolation. Show them they're not alone. Find role models they admire (famous or not) and share with them what those people are doing.

Raffi, the beloved children's troubadour and creator of his namesake Foundation for Child Honouring, wrote two wonderful new songs about the climate emergency ("Young People Marching – for Greta Thunberg" and "Do We Love Enough"). Here's his press release. You can stream the songs from here.

I'd love to say "Show kids that we've got this." Although I can't do that, I'll write, "Show them that we're working on it."

Raffi’s Response to the Climate Emergency

Teach children about how to protect the Earth because they have even more at stake than we do.

The normal order of things is for them to outlive us on a safe and healthy planet.

We can't force kids to be stewards of the Earth; it's our job as conscious parents to model these things for them. They'll follow our lead. As a bonus, the more you instill your messages in your kids, the more they'll hold you accountable, too. Your actions will become their actions as they grow up. They're paying attention now.

"Another day is imminent. Another world is possible." -- Raffi Cavoukian


Sarah R. Moore is an internationally published writer and the founder of Dandelion Seeds Positive Parenting. You can follow her on FacebookPinterest, and Instagram. She’s currently worldschooling her family. Her glass is half full.

I was sitting poolside in Florida, all by myself. I italicize that because it was a fairly momentous event. I am hardly ever alone. As in, pretty much never, not even for a minute. So, it felt like a fairly big deal to have my husband entertaining my daughter in the nearby pool (but out of earshot from me), and to have almost no one around. The lounge chairs were nearly empty; it was chilly by Florida standards.

I superficially noticed a woman sitting pretty close to the chair I'd chosen, but I didn't pay her much attention.

I sat back to read my book. Upon internalizing that I could do nothing, however, I closed my eyes and kind of zoned out.

After a few seconds, I heard the nearby woman exclaim, "Oh, I am SO sorry!"

I looked up and saw that a dripping wet young child was standing between us. Although I was still perfectly dry, the mama must've assumed her daughter had gotten me wet somehow. Smiling back sincerely, I offered, "Oh, there's nothing to apologize for! I'm dry. Plus, I have a five-year-old, so I totally get it."

Her daughter ran back to the pool. The mom, however, held my gaze.

"You DO?" she inquired. "Mine just turned five and it's throwing me for a loop. It's so hard and I just don't know what to do with her. Is it like that for you, too?"

As if I'd planned it, but of course I hadn't, I displayed my handy visual aid. I held out the book I'd brought to read poolside---Discipline Without Damage by Dr. Vanessa Lapointe, R. Psych (afflink)---and replied warmly and truthfully, "We're all still learning."Dr. Vanessa Lapointe

Her jaw just about hit the ground. She asked to take a photo of the book's cover, and I offered it willingly.

"It's so hard," she said with her beautifully thick southern accent. "I've done it all wrong."

I was surprised how much she was confiding in me as a total stranger, but somehow, our conversation felt entirely natural.

She continued, "I nursed her for too long. She was three when she stopped. And I should've started punishing her when she was littler; taking things away; smacking; doing what all my friends with older kids said I should do. I'm really too late, aren't I? The last thing I want is a kid who doesn't grow up respecting me. I mean, she still sleeps in my bed. I'm doing it all wrong."

Gently, I offered, "I'm so glad you're here. I want you to know that you didn't nurse her for too long. You did what worked for you both. Also, let me tell you---I know some things about this. I'm a mama, too, and sometimes I help other parents. A lot changes at age five. Your girl's brain chemistry has just changed substantially; it just is hard while you learn about this new version of the same child you've always had. Punishment is never the answer. Building a positive lifelong connection with her, is. Respect comes from trust. You're doing it right."

She blinked back tears.

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I repeated with love, "This is all normal. You're doing it right."

She cried tears of relief. I got a little misty, too, because...well, when in Rome, right? Here we were, two strangers, who "got" each other.

We talked through a few specifics of her parenting and of her daughter.

She told me that earlier that day, she'd prayed that someone would just "sit right down next to me at the pool today and tell me what to do." She confessed that her heart wasn't hearing the answer by itself, so she'd decided to be specific in her request.

Now, to be clear, I would never call myself an answer to prayer. If anything, when I was "zoning" moments before our conversation, I'd been seeking a bit of direction, myself. Sometimes I wonder if I should be doing what I'm doing, as a gentle parenting writer. It feels right in my heart, but for all the time I invest in it, does it actually help anybody?

When we finished our conversation, she hugged me like a long-lost friend. She thanked me, but really, the gratitude and clarity in my own heart were overwhelming.

If we're wondering whether gentle parenting is "right" when so much of the world seems anything but gentle, sometimes we need to look no farther than the person right next to us. Even more, we need to trust that something greater than us is at work, and that we're all exactly where we're supposed to be.

You wouldn't know it by looking at her, but my daughter is "five and three quarters" years old, as she'll tell you. However, she is tall. As in, she wears clothes made for eight year olds. As she whispered to me when someone asked her age recently, "Even my underwear says it's for kids who are eight." Underwear doesn't lie. She's really tall for her age.

While there are certain benefits to being a tall little kid---hey, she can reach all the chocolate in the cabinet by herself!---there are certain drawbacks, as well.

The most obvious drawback is that people assume she's older than she is, and they expect her to behave like someone who's three years older than she is, too.

Case in point: last week, we went somewhere that had some amazing kiddie rides. If there's one thing my child loves, it's pretending to drive a "real" car (real to her, anyway, even if it's on a track and the steering wheel only spins in circles).

She doesn't like jumping into new situations alone, however. She saw that most of the other young "drivers" were chauffeuring their parents around in the cars with them. So, that's what my kid wanted to do, too. Plus, the role reversal is fun for her. She likes taking mama out for a spin!

We walked up to the entrance and waited in line. As soon as it was our turn, however, the ride operator (whom I'll call the "bouncer") blocked me and claimed, "She's tall enough to ride this alone."

The panic entered my little one's eyes. Little did the bouncer know that my girl had just taken a big fall on the adjacent mini-golf course and had barely recovered from that. She wanted her Mommy near her, for sure.

Holding my ground, I replied, "She'd prefer that I go with her."

Bouncer: "Nope. The rule is that if she's <this tall>, she rides alone. You wait over there." My child and I both looked at the other cars full of kids with their parents.

I'll be blunt: some rules are incredibly dumb.

My daughter melted into a pool of tears, now saying that she didn't want to ride anymore. I knew how much she did want to ride.

While I comforted her, my husband went and spoke with the bouncer. Shortly thereafter, the bouncer was beckoning us to return.

She smiled apologetically and said, "You go on in."

I smiled back, genuinely, and noted that just because someone looks "too big for something," it doesn't always reflect their real age or what they're ready for.

It's about kids being ready when they're ready.

They might be five, or they might be eight---or any age at all. Tall or short; that's not the point.

It's about tossing out the textbooks and the measuring tape and trusting that kids will find independence at exactly the right time for them. It's okay not to need Mommy; and it's okay to  need her, too.

We rode in that car together joyfully. My tall five-year-old took her driving very seriously, never taking her hands off the wheel or her eyes off the "road." At one point, she leaned over and said with an ever-so-serious smile, "Aren't I a responsible driver? What would you do without me?"

Truth be told, I'd probably still be stuck on believing some textbook version of motherhood. I'm so thankful she's taught me otherwise.

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"Today is my birthday," Jenny* whispered in a class I help teach, clearly feeling proud. I asked if it would be alright if the class sang her the "happy birthday" song, and she nodded eagerly. So, wanting to help this child feel happy, loved, and valued everywhere she went that day, we gave her lots of attention, which she gleefully accepted.

A few minutes into the class, I inquired, "So, how old are you today?" She responded with all the confidence in the world, "I think I'm about five and a half!"

Her response made me laugh.

And then, I confess that a small part of me was tempted to renege on the celebrating.

Catching myself in my "over-adulting," though, I think she was doing exactly what many of us should embrace: celebrating life, just for the heck of it. So, on we went, celebrating her special "five and a half-ish" birthday, just as it was.

To help make a child feel valued and loved, we should celebrate their existence every day. However, to help kids feel happy, we also need to let them know how much joy we find in them.

"I'm so glad you're here," we said.

"It's really fun to dance with you," we informed.

I sensed nothing manipulative in her motives. She just wanted to feel some impromptu joy, so she created it. And we followed her lead. What makes a child feel happy is knowing he or she is important.

We all have an innate need to feel like we matter. So, how can we help kids feel important?

Happy kids not only feel better, but studies show that they also do better academically and otherwise. So we, as adults, have plenty of motivation to help them feel comfortable and joyful. To be clear, I don't believe anyone can "make" anyone else happy. However, there are many tangible things the adults in their lives can do to help kids feel happy, loved, and valued. Here are four of my favorites.

1. Help your kids feel loved in their terms.

This is different from you loving them; it's helping them feel it in the ways they uniquely need according to their (not your) love language. It's the way they can best understand the strength of your love: your knowing what makes this specific child happy. This insightful book outlines five love languages, including gifts, acts of service, touch, quality time, and words of affirmation.

Even if their love language is "gifts," research shows that giving to others reaps greater rewards, even for young children. So, use the power of this knowledge wisely, if that's their love language. Whatever their love language is, though, be aware that it might differ from yours. It might take some practice to express love differently for their benefit. What makes a child happy is feeling loved in the ways that speak to their unique heart.

2. Involve them in your daily life.

While raising happy children is a priority for parents, it's easy to get caught up in the day-to-day tasks we need to accomplish as responsible adults. Particularly if your child's love language is quality time, involve them in not only the "big things," but also in the little daily events, mundane as they may seem. Even better, combine the power of touch with quality time. I've unloaded the dishwasher with my five-year-old on my hip more times than I can count. (She's nearly half my weight, so it's good exercise, too!) I make eye contact with her and smile, then hand her the dishes that go where she can't normally reach. She puts them in their proper places, happy to connect in the ordinary necessities of life.

We can help kids feel important by involving them in the things that may not matter much to us, but still allow us to connect.

3. Read about topics that make kids feel important and competent.

Here, you can cover a lot of happiness bases at once. Find good quality books that not only help children learn about age-appropriate topics, but that also promote joy and a growth mindset. Awhile back, I posted a list of my favorite books to help kids build self-esteem and confidence. However, as I wrote then and I'll state again, the messages "sink in" a lot better if you don't just read the books, but also discuss them with your children. What traits do you see in the characters that your kids do well? Tell them. What helps kids feel important is knowing for sure that you "see" them along with their strengths.

Most kids enjoy when family members read them books, regardless. One part of the kids' enjoyment may be that books can touch on, well, touch (no pun intended). Time on your lap or sitting shoulder-to-shoulder offers physical connection, if that's your child's love language. The words you use when discussing the books easily lend themselves to words of affirmation. Reading together is definitely quality time, and that naturally helps kids feel happy. Even older kids benefit from reading aloud together. I have loving memories of my Mom reading the Nancy Drew series to me long after I could read alone. Her spending time doing something with me that I could do alone, helped me feel important to her.

4. Talk in specific terms about what makes your child happy, and adjust accordingly.

Every day before bedtime, I ask my daughter three questions that I didn't invent, but that give me helpful insight:

  1. What was the funniest part of today?
  2. What was the hardest part of today?
  3. If you could do one part of today that you enjoyed all over again, what would it be?

Knowing I'll ask those questions every evening, I'm intentional about making her laugh. I listen to what was hardest and empathize, and I take note of what she enjoyed most so that we can replicate it. Replicating those moments of happiness--not exactly as they happened, but in familiar ways--keeps joy on the forefront of our minds, as well as in our activities. Part of fostering positive child development is knowing the child in front of me.

Oftentimes, it isn't the "big" events that stick out for her. What she cites most often are times she felt emotionally connected, no matter where we were.

What makes a child happy is connection.

Positive parenting helps promote your child's trust in your unconditional love. Connect through dedicated special time together and really "see" your child. Modeling genuine happiness helps, too; studies show that we benefit from observing the habits of happy people of all ages. And that might just mean throwing an impromptu "five and half-ish" birthday party because, well, why not?

I was always a highly introverted child. It showed. For instance, when I was in high school, I learned that for my dance group's upcoming graduation dinner, the other dancers selected me to receive the spoof award for being the "Most Reserved." Knowing how much I despised being called by a "label" like this one, my Mom suggested that I tape a sign that read "I AM NOT SHY" to the back of my underwear. She said that when I walked up to receive the award, I should moon everyone with my, ahem, (not shy side). Although I appreciated her sentiment, I did not take that advice.

Fortunately, the award never happened, but the message to me was clear. I'd known since I was little that I was simply wired differently from some of the louder kids. And being the good parent that she was, my Mom supported me in that.

Even the littlest kids intuitively know how people want them to be.

In general, the mainstream society in which I live views a gregarious extrovert as socially "good," whereas quiet seems to imply some kind of problem. It isn't a problem at all, of course. Well-meaning adults often pursue introverted children who aren't quick to respond with a sweetly teasing inquiry of "Oh, are you shy?" No matter how good-natured the intention, a child can perceive this as, "You, little human, are not okay as you are." Let's fix that.

In truth, the child may not be shy at all. He may just be an observer who wants to find acceptance in the world. We all want that acceptance. Splitting hairs? Nah. For some, it’s actually quite different, and both can be completely developmentally normal. There's a difference between lacking confidence and being an observer who's sure of oneself. Some kids just prefer to enter the pool through the shallow end, so to speak.

Going slowly gives introverted kids the information they need to feel comfortable in new situations. Regardless of your child’s confidence, it's important for an extrovert who might not share the same "wiring" to understand that the seemingly innocent question about shyness can embarrass or cause pain for some introverted children. Talking with someone who's not a parent, sibling, or close friend might be a completely different experience for that child than it is for someone else.

But is introverted the same thing as shy?

No, it's not. Shy is a feeling alongside a behavior, as in "I felt shy and hid behind my mom when everyone in the room looked at me." Introverted simply means that someone feels recharged after being able to spend time alone, sometimes with a small group of close friends. Spending time with large groups of people can feel emotionally draining. It's usually temporary and is not a reflection of the child overall. Conversely, extroversion means that someone gets his or her "energy" from being around other people.

It's more about the types of interactions that deplete or invigorate us than it is about how we act in any single situation.

What about a highly sensitive child? Is that the same thing?

No, it's not. Introverted children are not always highly sensitive, nor is extroversion a trait of lack of sensitivity. Plenty of highly sensitive children like to spend time with others and get a lot of energy from being around others. The behavior of highly sensitive children varies considerably from child to child. That said, according to Dr. Elaine Aron, 70% of highly sensitive children (HSCs) are also introverts, so there's a lot of crossover.

For those of us who have the quiet ones in our homes, part of respectful parenting is accepting our children exactly as they are.

Here are some ways you can support them "in the moment."

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When in a situation that's typically challenging for your introverted children, talk ahead of time about what to expect (even if they've seen it before).

To you, it might just be another kid's birthday party. To your child, it might be "a place where people I don't know look at me and adults try to talk to me, and noisy kids are everywhere." Rather than telling your child what others expect of him (which she can perceive as pressure), state just the facts and describe what your child is likely to see there. Then, remind your child that you (or another trusted adult) will be with him the whole time. Finally, agree on a script of what he can say if he needs support. If talking to another adult without your involvement is tricky for your child, consider giving him a small "help card" to show that adult, instead.

If you're staying present with your child, try this.

Wait to see if that anyone says anything to your child, and let your child enter the social scene at his or her own pace (or not at all).

If someone does say something to your child, then ask your child something like this (within earshot of that person): "Would you like to respond, or shall I tell them you prefer to observe?" There are lots of variations you can try here. Now that I have an introverted child of my own, I've had lots of opportunities to practice with her. Once we graduated from this question, we moved onto, "Would you prefer to say 'hi' or wave?"

Remember the importance of your loving, supportive touch along the way. Introverted children need their parents to follow their lead and reassure them in verbal and non-verbal ways. Your positive support will make the experience less hard, and much more positive, for them.

It's fine to encourage without pressuring. One helpful hint is to wait just past where you're comfortable and give your child enough time to respond. Sometimes it just takes a moment; release your expectations that they won't do it. Maybe they will!

Above all, introverted children will grow in confidence if they feel your unequivocal support.

Here's how:

Respect your child's choice.

If she chooses not to engage with someone who's talking to her, simply tell the other person: "She prefers to observe until she knows people better."

Support your child by not offering apologies or excuses.

It's sometimes tempting to overcompensate for child who isn't responding to another adult (or child). If you apologize for your child's lack of response, it might placate the other person, but it sends the message to your child that he's done something wrong. Of course that's not your intention!

What should you do instead if your child isn't responding? Simply smile at the other party and continue the conversation normally. It sends that person AND your child the message that this is no big deal. That's great for your child's comfort level and self-esteem. We all feel more compelled to engage when we lack pressure to do so.

Reframe your wording.

"Shy" and all its word-cousins have a stigma in the culture where I live, although they shouldn't. In many countries, it's actually perceived as rude if an extroverted someone is too over-the-top with energy (and words). In my home, we've banished all references to shy, reserved, and similar; instead, if we use any label at all (and we try to avoid them), we use it only as a verb. With child-first language, we say, "My child prefers to observe." I want to raise her knowing that labels don't define her. She's not my "shy child." She's my child.

It's helpful to listen to your children and seek understanding of what resonates with them. Every child's personality and preferences are different.

Share your own experience with your child.

Spend time talking about a time you preferred to observe as a child. Introverted children love hearing that others have felt the same way they do. Even if you were usually the life of the party, you likely remember a time that you didn't want to be in the middle of the action. Present it as a positive; it's affirmation that your child is perfectly okay just as he or she is. Your child will flourish best when he or she feels like you "get" it. If you worked through a tricky situation, tell your kid how you did it. Explain your own strategies that have worked (while framing introversion in a positive light).

Understand your child's heart.

You know your child best. What kind of stimulation does he or she enjoy? Watch them for cues without projecting your own experience, or that which you've seen the media say is "normal." Are your kids happy spending time in simple play with family, or do they require many activities throughout the day with a large amount of socializing? If you contact your child's teacher with questions about how they learn best in class---in groups or individually---that can be a clue, too. If need be, rule out anxiety disorders that may be affecting your child's social-emotional comfort.

Quiet or not, you're raising a person who will look to you for validation that he or she is "good enough" for the world. There's a lot of pressure out there. And you, dear parents, when you support your children just as they are, are doing them a wonderful and necessary service.

If you don't have an introverted child, the best thing you can do is let the quiet ones be, without judgment or comment. The world needs all of us.

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Further Reading about Introverts

(Amazon afflinks): These books by Susan Cain and others helped me understand many introverted kids better than any others I've found; I highly recommend them. If you are, or know, an introverted or sensitive adult, they provide fantastic insight.

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books about introvertsintroverted childhighly sensitive child

I've thought long and hard about the best books for kids 2020. It's been an odd year; so odd, in fact, that my child said I might as well go ahead and give her all her Christmas gifts early. (Nice try.)

Not that things were necessarily easy when we were little--the playground could be a pretty rough place for everyone, and definitely so for a highly sensitive soul like mine. 

Fortunately, some of the best things from our childhoods are still around: great books. They were an incredible source of comfort and connection for me when I was a child, and they are for my child now, too.

That's part of the reason I've chosen some classics to represent the best books for kids 2020 -- keeping the eternal goodness of books alive and well!

I'm keenly aware of how books can help build a child's self-esteem and confidence in this ever-changing world.

Best books for kids 2020 -- benefits of reading to children

Did you know that reading books has particular benefits when you read them aloud together with your child? As Rasumussen College describes in this report, there are many benefits of reading aloud--not only to little kids, but from prenatal days all the way to adolescence! Wow!

That said, when I read to my kiddo and as I've admitted before, I'm something of a book snob. (Forgive me.) I really like good books that we can enjoy together and that engage us both. If I'm going to read a book 10,000 times (as I undoubtedly will), I want to like it, too.

Here are some of our top picks for best books for 2020, for ages 3-8 -- give or take a bit

Like I was, my daughter is a gentle and sensitive soul. She approves these as being among the best books for kids 2020, just like I do. Here's what we enjoy about each of them, along with how they build self-esteem and confidence! (afflinks)

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Click on each title to see it on Amazon. 

1. I'm Gonna Like Me

Best Books for Kids 2020

Although I typically promote lesser-known authors, this great book for children just happens to be written by a celebrity. What we like most is that it's just an all around feel-good book.

Bonus points that it's witty and downright entertaining. My child and I come away smiling after we read it, even for the millionth time. No matter what mistakes the boy and girl (the main characters) make, they like themselves, anyway. When other kids are unkind, no problem.

Their self-esteem and confidence are independent of others kids' opinions of them (hello, playground wisdom)! (Special note to parents of sensitive kiddos: the so-called unkindness is extremely mild and the positive message is more than strong enough to compensate for it.)

Sometimes life hands us lemons, and these two choose to rise above it every time. We've read this book at least once per week for the past three years or so. It stands the test of time in our house!

2. The Girl Who Never Made Mistakes

Best Books for Kids 2020

I'll begin by saying that I watched a 20-something year-old man tear up (slightly) as he read this one. If your child has ever lamented that his or her creation didn't come out "perfectly," this will resonate. It did very much for my child, just as it did for me.

The character, despite being "perfect" for most of the book, is somehow completely relatable at the same time. If ever there were a book that tells a child that it's okay to relax and enjoy who he or she is, this is it, in our opinion.

It so beautifully captures the joy of letting go of small or big anxieties about who we are. It gives us permission to like ourselves despite our imperfections. What a wonderful gift!

As one final bonus reason I put this among the best books for kids 2020, is that it's SO relatable. We've watched the world turn upside-down this year, and frankly, many of us have made mistakes in front of our kids. This is a great book to help us all feel a bit more normal and connected through our imperfections.

3. Ish

Best Books for Kids 2020

Similar to the book above, the main character in this story wants his drawings to be perfect and is devastated when someone criticizes his work. When he learns that it's okay to be "good enough," he thrives and rediscovers the joy he had lost.

This is on our list of best books for children 2020 because it emphasizes "process over product"---the philosophy that learning happens through the joy of the creation itself, rather than how it looks in the end.

No one can live up to perfection, and this book makes it perfectly okay to just do the best you can.

4. It's Okay to Be Different

Best Books for Kids 2020

Well, the title pretty much sums it up! The pictures are silly and simple. The author chooses lots of ways people can be different, and the core of the message is simply that "You're alright just as you are." What an empowering message for kids of all ages. When it comes right down to it, have you ever met anyone who's not different from everyone else in some wonderful way? Anything that boosts kids' self-esteem and confidence, and helps them accept themselves just the way they are, will make it onto our best books for kids list.

5. Zoey & Sassafras

Best Books for Kids 2020

We think this is among the very best kids' book series. 

These differ from the others on our list in that they're chapter books, but they're appropriate even for young boys and girls. We started reading them when my child was about four years old. By five, she didn't want us to put them down. Still at 7 and with no end in sight, these make our best books for kids 2020 list because they're sincerely engaging. (Even my husband and I look forward to reading them. My guess is that they have no expiration date age-wise, ever.)

Even I wondered how the protagonist of the stories would help each of the magical animals she encountered. The writing is fantastic. The creativity is solid.

And when it comes to building kids' self-esteem and confidence, there's nothing like watching a child who persists despite adversity and solves tricky problems, to show the value of never giving up. She believes in herself and models how to do that. For what it's worth, I've even caught my husband turning pages when our child is nowhere around. They're that good.

6. Made by Raffi

Best Books for Kids 2020

The main character, Raffi, is so extremely relatable, feeling different from other kids and wondering if all kids feel that way. He wonders if he’s “normal,” just like many children have. And by “many” children, I mean every human who’s ever been a child. (Yep, that’s all of us.) This book addresses stereotypes of all kinds and how the protagonist finds self-confidence and acceptance, even when everyone else isn't quite like him. It’s a book every parent should read to his or her child, and then read to his or her own inner child, too. It’s exactly the right combination of feel-good message along with important life lesson.

7. Scaredy Squirrel Makes a Friend

Best Books for Kids 2020

Many of us are comfortable only within our "safe zones," and Scaredy is no exception. He's about as endearing as they come, with all sorts of irrational fears about coming out of his proverbial shell (or in this case, his tree).

Hilariously, we get to join him on his journey to build confidence and trust that the world isn't quite as dangerous as he fears. Like many of these books, it's stood the test of time in our house.

It always makes me smirk, no matter how many times we read it together. It's an excellent (albeit intentionally silly) model to help kids' build self-esteem and confidence.

8. Rosie Revere, Engineer

Best Books for Kids 2020

Rosie has a passion, but she hides it away for fear of mockery. As this story unfolds, however, she transforms into a bold and confident inventor.

What we like about this book is how it demonstrates that even people with good intentions can inadvertently turn kids away from their dreams; but Rosie overcomes that. We all face adversity in life, but this book helps kids build self-esteem and confidence even after emotional roadblocks.

We love how she recovers from the letdowns and bravely pursues her passion!

9. Little Iffy Learns to Fly

Best Books for Kids 2020

A great book for younger kids, this is a sweet and wonderful book for children. It speaks beautifully to trusting kids' natural development and readiness for milestones, and how pressure to make them do things before they're ready seldom works.

Despite adversity, Iffy finds himself in a situation that he didn't really want, but proves to himself that he's braver and stronger than he thought. We cheer for this little creature when his confidence shines through, feeling a sense of recognition in ourselves along his journey.

10. Nadia: The Girl Who Couldn't Sit Still

Best Books for Kids 2020

Based on the true story of Nadia Comaneci, Olympic gold medalist, this is another wonderful example of a child overcoming adversity through incredible persistence.

Although my impression of Nadia is that she was confident from the beginning, it would've been easy for her to lose hope along her journey. She didn't start out as one of the best gymnasts in the world. She experienced failure.

But she kept trying, believing in herself and in her abilities. Knowing that the real Nadia went through all of this before success came, it's a lovely example for children to help them build self-esteem and confidence.

11. Beautiful Oops

Best Books for Kids 2020

My child received this as a gift when she was three. Still now, she loves to read it. With few words, it's a great introduction for showing kids that mistakes can turn out alright, with the right perspective. There's always a bright side, even when something goes wrong!

We believe that if kids can internalize that they can choose their responses to situations that don't turn out how they want, they'll be better off in the long run.

12. Mae Among the Stars

Best Books for Kids 2020

So many of us have had others' agendas imposed upon us, and we've been left to wonder what life would've been like had we pursued our dreams. This is a beautiful story that addresses just that.

Mae, the protagonist of this story, decides she won't settle for what others want. She rises above others' doubts and finds her joy. As I read this book, I wanted to be Mae. She's strong; brave; real. She perseveres.

This is undoubtedly on our list of best books for kids 2020 to help them believe in themselves.

13. The Little Engine That Could

Best Books for Kids 2020

If this isn't the classic children's book to build self-esteem and confidence, I don't know what is. (Heads up to parents of sensitive kiddos: two of the trains bothered my child just a little until she was about 5, so we skipped them until she was ready.)

The little blue engine, as we all know, isn't the biggest or the strongest, but she believes in herself. She has enough heart to pull a load much greater than her own, up a much higher obstacle than she's encountered before. When it all comes down to it, that's exactly what I want my child to know she's capable of.

14. Elephant and Piggie Series

Best Books for Kids 2020

What's not to love about Piggie and Gerald? These books are funny and clever. As in, they make my husband and me laugh, not to mention our child.

Moreover, they almost always gently teach a lesson; share a moral, at child-level, that's one the child can take with them throughout their life. Best friend trouble? Difficulty sharing? Navigating someone new who wants to play? These and so many more topics are covered beautifully--and always with a happy ending.

P.S. Make sure to check for the sneaky pigeon at the end. He's always up to something.

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Of course, the best way to help your child internalize these wonderful messages is to not only read the books together, but to discuss them, too. What a wonderful way to connect! 

Let's be friends

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