Due to my Mom’s work as an international model and actress, I spent most of my formative years surrounded by some of the World’s Most Beautiful People. Some, like my Mom, just happened to be beautiful on the inside, too, but that certainly wasn’t the case for everyone. Couple my surroundings with my passion for ballet and the level of fitness that ballet requires, along with normal peer pressure to look good, and I developed kind of a skewed perception of what makes a beautiful body. Sure, I had enough self-esteem to get by, but it was tricky territory.

With that as the backdrop, I’ve been very intentional with my daughter about the subjects of beauty and self-confidence. Although I’m not a model for magazines, I most certainly am her role model. I’m her Mommy. When she sees me look at my face or body in the mirror, I want her to see a woman who accepts every bit of her physical self (or, at least, a woman who’s gentle with herself).

My only option, as I see it, is to demonstrate what self-esteem looks like and hope she’ll follow suit.

Awhile back, I wrote about my daughter’s and my first “official” discussion about beauty and its effect on her self-esteem. Ever since that day, we’ve openly and often talked about healthy bodies, exercise, and nutrition. We read wonderful books about liking ourselves (afflink), and as far as I can tell, she’s growing in self-love and confidence. Most of all, we’ve discussed inner beauty. Focusing on the qualities that contribute to who we are and what we believe is so much more important than how we look. That’s what matters, right? All the external stuff is fleeting.

Like it or not, though, exterior beauty comes up---even when we minimize its importance at home.

My child has seen me put on makeup and has asked me why I do it. I work to keep my answer as low key as possible. I’ve never mentioned wanting too look or feel prettier. I’ve intentionally divorced it from how I depict self-worth. I usually say something along the lines of “I just like to wear it,” or “I’ve worn it since I was young, so it’s habit.” Up until today, she acted as if she bought it.

I should’ve known better. Kids always seem to know when there’s more to the story.

As I waited for her to finish her breakfast today, I pulled out my makeup bag at the table and started applying concealer.

“Why are you doing that, Mommy?”

I replied with one of my trusty fallback lines.

To my surprise, she responded, “Mommy, I don’t think you need it to be more beautiful. I think you’re pretty just as you are. What matters is that you’re kind, and you’re kind with or without makeup.”

My heart melted at her sweet statement. Shortly thereafter, my inner voice replied, “But I still need makeup.” Outwardly, I just looked at her and smiled. I thanked her.

I know I’ve never told her that I wear it to make myself prettier. I sincerely don’t know where she got the idea.

Of course, she knows what makeup is for. Or rather, what society told us it’s for.

Holding my lipstick in limbo halfway between my makeup bag and my face, I thought about what she was really saying. I realized that she was watching closely to see whether I agreed or disagreed with her. Despite what I tell her, what makes me feel good about my appearance? Is it something internal or external? I knew this would be one of those “teachable moments” about self-esteem and self-worth.

At the risk of sounding completely vain, I struggled briefly with what to do. I mentally catalogued who we’d see that day, and to what extent I wanted to look “a certain way.” Now, my “certain way” is fine, but I stress–I’m quite regular looking and currently quite sun deprived.

I paused. Then, I did what any self-respecting woman would do. I said, “You’re right. I don’t need makeup to be pretty.”

And we went about our day, both of us makeup-less and genuinely happy about it–-her, because she’s little, and me, because I’m her role model. If I’m going to tell her that what matters most is inner beauty, then I need to live it, especially when she’s watching. And asking.

This was a test. It didn’t matter who we’d see today.

It was about whether I’m comfortable in my own skin, and whether I actually mean what I’ve been teaching her about beauty.

We both know I’ll wear makeup again, and that’s fine, too. Sometimes I’ll even put on fancy jewelry or break out my “good jeans” (hey, I’m a Mom).

I felt more free today than I have for awhile–not because I lacked makeup, but because my child gave me an opportunity to overthrow my old way of thinking. There’s nothing I “need” to do just because I’ve always done it. She helped me escape my own hypocrisy, telling her one thing but holding myself to a different standard. I’m thankful that my daughter continues to teach me what’s really important. I’m glad she’s holding me to what I attempt to teach her about self-esteem. She has every right to do that.

Half the people in our city are sick this week. Half. No good, I say! We like feeling healthy and strong, thank you very much. I have no time to be down with a cold or flu. So, to the extent that I can, I'm giving my body every tool imaginable to keep it working properly and happily. My Instant Pot® stew is one such tool, and I'm thankful for it (afflinks).

Inspired by the memory of a wonderful soup friends in Québec City made for me years ago, I looked up some of the best warming ingredients I could find and decided to experiment with them. Since, unfortunately, my husband is one of the people who's down with a cold, I didn't want to invest a lot of time shopping and cooking. I wanted to create something that would give us all the benefits of germ-fighting powerhouse foods but without losing hours in the kitchen that I could be spending elsewhere (like sanitizing everything in my house from top to bottom).

I'm happy to report that my experiment worked! Now, we're the proud owners of a brand new recipe that's downright good--not only for the body, but for our spirits, too. It's an all-around feel-good meal. Who knew we could make our own comfort food?

Part of what makes this recipe so easy is that everything goes straight from being chopped to directly in the Instant Pot.

Instant Pot Carrot Ginger Red Lentil Stew, otherwise known as Easy Comfort Food Stew

• 6 large carrots, chopped fairly small by hand or in a food processor
• 1 large clove of fresh garlic, chopped by hand or in a food processor
• Approximately 1.5-2 inches of fresh ginger, peeled, then grated or chopped in a food processor (time saving tip: process the carrots, garlic, and ginger together)
• 1 1/2 cups rinsed red lentils
• 2 Tbsp olive oil
• 2 cups vegetable or low-sodium chicken broth (alternatively, use only water and add more seasonings)
• 2-3 cups water depending on the consistency you like (more water for soupy-stew, less water for thicker stew)

Option #1: Up until now, this is a vegan recipe (if you've used vegetable broth or water). If that's not your thing, you can add meat (my husband likes chicken).

Option #2: Spice it up with 1 tsp (or more) turmeric powder.

Option #3: Bonus health points if you add fresh greens! I like basil, but just about any green, including carrot greens, can work great here.

Turn on the Instant Pot to your "Stew" setting and set it for 15 minutes. We used the quick release function at the end, and it turned out perfectly! Add seasonings to taste, if need be, but I like it just as it is. If it's too thick for your liking, you can always add more water.

Serves four adults.

Be well!